Tuesday, July 17, 2018

About Me

This website will take you along for the ride of my transformational journey. It is one of strength, vitality, sovereignty, and a little magick. Let me catch you up!

I was in two relationships(one right after the other), where I was mentally, physically, and emotionally abused, and it broke me. My mind, my soul, my will to live. Over the past year, however, I have been reclaiming my sovereignty. I have been on a scavenger hunt for the bits of my soul that fled my body with every harsh word or painful blow. I had three different doctors try to put me on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds, but I refused. I was determined to find a way to heal my mind naturally. Now, I am NOT suggesting that anyone stop taking or refuse to get on medication to help with mental disorders. That is not what this is about. I have other medical conditions that would have been affected by barbituates, so the medicinal route was not for me. My doctors all said that it would take AT LEAST 5 years for me to start recovering. Well, here I am a year later, feeling good enough to put my life story on blast. I've even got my anxiety under control enough to try to start working again.
⇒ (I understand that working as a Freelance writer isn't going into an office from 9-5, and 99% of my interactions will be through a computer screen, but I would have never been able to put myself out there to promote my availability and commit myself to a job even 6 months ago.)

Breaking Free

I will never forget the moment the court gave the ruling that I had sole custody of my son, and that his abusive father was not to come within 500 feet of either of us. I cried tears of happiness and relief. I was free. Finally free... This was the second relationship in a row where I had endured abuse, and my mind just couldn't cope. I was suffering from C-PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I will list resources for this disorder at the bottom of the page).  I was seeing a therapist every week, but it wasn't really helping. I couldn't really wrap my head around what being free meant at first. I just went through the motions every day taking care of my son. But I didn't enjoy anything. I didn't desire anything. I did things for myself only if they were necessary - like feed myself and shower often enough so I didn't stink or get sick. I remember sitting in my recliner one afternoon, watching my son play. It was a beautiful day - kids kept running by the window. I realized at that moment that my painful loneliness, paralyzing anxiety, and deep dark depression was affecting my son...I decided then and there that I had to figure out a way to get through this- at least manage my symptoms enough to take my son outside to play once in a while!
I don't know how much time had passed since my resolution - a week, maybe two - that I had found the key that unlocked the chains of C-PTSD. Witchcraft. No, that is not a typo. Becoming a witch has vastly improved my mental disorder. It's not really that crazy of an idea actually. More and more psychiatrists are recommending holistic remedies, such as the activities of witchcraft, like meditation, prayer, devotional work, etc. Becoming a witch was a process, and my identity as a witch is constantly evolving. I am this close to being able to say I'm "this" kind of witch. (Click to follow my blog so you won't miss my Turning into a Witch entry.)

What To Expect from this Website

As I said before, this website is all about my journey, my story. I have a few different things going for me. I'm a mother first and foremost, so I'm sure I'll have an article or two about being a single mom or about two-year-old boys. My son is such a character. He is incredibly like his uncle, which is fitting because I named him after my brother. But at the same time, he is his own person - the cutest, and sometimes annoying, little quirks. I know any mother can relate. This is my little angel.

My other hobby: ART.  I paint or draw every day. I started out crocheting (in fact, I crocheted the blanket my son is laying on in the photo above). Then I decided to start drawing. Once I figured out that I could draw things if I had a reference photo, I tried my hand at painting. I LOVED it. Which was a surprise because I was never good at painting. In high school when it came to choosing electives I did everything I could to avoid taking an art class. When I went to college I had to take an art class - and I found a loophole: Art History! So it really surprised me that I 1. Enjoyed painting and 2. Wasn't the worst painter.

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Crashing Wave

If you like Crashing Wave, go to my profile on Fine Art America and purchase a print! You can purchase a print of the painting, or you can purchase a wide array of merch with this image on it, like a cell phone case, shower curtain, and many more.
Finally, you can definitely expect blogs about witchcraft and magic. Being a witch has had a major influence on my life. How I think, how I feel, how I see the world; even who I worship. I may post spells or rituals, and will definitely recommend resources that I've used (some books are starting to fall apart because I've read them so many times).
With any blog I publish, I welcome comments. If you have questions, anecdotes of your own, constructive criticism - I would appreciate and almost all feedback! The exception, of course, would be spammy or negative comments. My mother taught me to say nothing if I had nothing nice to say, and I expect the same of anyone I interact with.
With that said, welcome to my blog and I hope to inspire, entertain and enlighten!

Thanks for reading! (Don't forget to click to subscribe!)



Bright Blessings to You and Yours!
Always with Love,
Amanda

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